


i'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!

by bi-tlejuice (bi_tlejuice)



Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [5]
Category: Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice) - Fandom, Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Bonding, Recreational Drug Use, friends - Freeform, just two weirdos chatting, platonic, they smoke some weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_tlejuice/pseuds/bi-tlejuice
Summary: "Woah," he says, at the same time Delia squeals and drops the spliff she's smoking. "In hindsight, I totally should've seen this coming."
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Delia Deetz
Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690348
Comments: 8
Kudos: 232





	i'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a lil drabble inspired by a comment left by @magpiie ! as always, don't NEED to have read the rest of the series for this to make sense but it might be nice

It wasn't that he didn't _like_ Delia or anything. They just really didn't have that much in common.

Underlying issues aside, Beetlejuice considers himself to be outspoken, overly confident and generally a Cool Guy. He'll share his opinion on pretty much anything even (especially) when it's something "controversial," but he's also pretty comfortable sitting back and just chilling. Delia is, at least in his eyes, pretty much the opposite. She speaks lots, but it's more because she's uncomfortable with silence and therefore will always attempt to fill it. Adam's been trying to make him pick words from the dictionary and learn them to 'enrich his vocabulary.' Beetlejuice has in fact not been doing this, but he feels like if 'anticonfident' was in there, it would just be a picture of Delia. 

So yeah. Delia must be cool enough, because Lydia likes her well enough and Barbara's been spending more time with her recently. He just doesn't see much point in hanging out with someone who a) he has nothing in common with and b) seems like she's still scared of him. 

Or, so he thinks. Time kind of flew by whilst he was watching one of Lydia's animal documentaries on the phone to her (she's gone down to see her aunt with Charles, but they _always_ watch them together so this was the next best thing) and by the time he finally switches it off, it's dark outside. He'll never tell them, but he thinks it's kind of lame how the Maitlands still sleep like breathers do pretty much every night. He'd tried explaining how all the cool stuff happened at night, but they'd said they liked the routine or something annoying like that. Now Beetlejuice himself sleeps most nights because nobody else will stay awake with him. 

Whatever. Lydia's not here, so he can totally sleep in her bed and she can't be mad until she comes back tomorrow. Tomorrow's Beetlejuice can deal with that. 

He's seconds away from lying down when someone starts choking outside the window. Originally when he walked in, he'd thought he could smell weed, but he'd pegged that to his subconscious and how it wanted some weed. Is- would Barbara smoke weed? Weighing it up while creeping over to the open window, he's really not sure. Adam, he's certain would never even touch a cigarette for as long as he lived. But Barbara is like, cool now. Maybe she's blazing up outside. Excited, he sticks his head out.

"Woah," he says, at the same time Delia squeals and drops the spliff she's smoking. "In hindsight, I totally should've seen this coming."

"Don't tell Charles," she hiss-whispers as if somehow Charles can hear them. 

"Your secret's safe with me," he promises, clambering eagerly out of the window and plonking himself down next to her on the roof. "Cross my heart and hope to die." 

"Wait- really?"

"You kidding?" he frowns, pulling a joint out of his jacket pocket. "I always thought you were kinda weird, but this is definitely something I can get behind." Delia blinks at him as if he's just pulled a gun out and not a joint. "What, you lose yours?"

"No, no- you really want to sit with me?" she asks, narrowing her eyes after a second. "Is this a prank?"

"I'm _wounded_ , D. Can't a demon share a joint with his- uh," he pauses, because he doesn't really know what Delia is. "With you?"

She doesn't look certain but relights her joint anyway, holding her lighter out to him without question. Honestly, his mind is blown. Is Delia actually cool? When he thinks about it, he guesses being awkward and being cool aren't mutually exclusive - Adam's a stupid nerd who was probably awkward his whole life, but Beetlejuice still thinks he's cool. It's not like, textbook cool. It's like, their own breed of cool.

"So," he says, conversationally, having no other conversation material planned. "Uh, crystals?"

"You don't have to pretend you're interested."

"Hey, I _might_ be interested. I don't know anything about it. Educate me." Look- does he really care about crystals? Probably not. But Delia strikes him as kind of lonely under all the weird, and it's not like he's unfamiliar with that. 

"God, where to start... they've been around for like, millions of years in Hinduism and Buddhism used as ancient medicine and like, to promote healing? They draw out the negative energy inside you and like, recycle it and amplify it back out. So they're cleansing your negative energy, basically."

Beetlejuice is not overly convinced, but Delia sounds super intense so he's not going to shit all over it. "But you've got a whole bunch. So like, are different colours doing different stuff?"

"Oh, _absolutely_. Clear quartz - the white one - is like, the master healer. It helps with your energy but it also boosts your immune system, your concentration, your memory- all sorts of neat stuff." Maybe this stuff isn't believable, but it's still kinda interesting to find out how they're supposed to work. "Citrine is all about positivity and enthusiasm. It's like, the super happy crystal."

"You've got this like, black spiky one, right? That one's sick, what's that one do?" he buts in, because it _is_ sick and he always wants to pick it up whenever he's in their room. 

" _Well_ ," she says, grinning excitedly, and he finds himself matching her grin as she starts talking, even though he doesn't really care about crystals. Maybe this is how normal people make friends. It's relieving to spend time with someone who wears their emotions on their face so openly - there's no second guessing himself and he can just focus on exactly what they're saying. It's nice to listen in the same way that it's nice helping Lydia with her photography; he doesn't _get_ it (pictures are just stuff you can see but on shiny paper) but he likes how excited she gets while she's talking about it. " _And-_ no, oh my God. I've been rambling for so long. What's your _thing_?"

"My thing?" he frowns, because is she trying to execute a poorly made euphemism here?

"Like- crystals are mine, photography is Lydia's, weird nerd stuff is Adam's-"

" _Oh_. Uh," Beetlejuice pauses, passing her his joint because Netherworld weed is definitely better than what she's smoking. "I don't really have one? It was like, kill- I mean, _bio-exorcising_ , but I stopped doing that when I met you guys."

"Holy fuck, this stuff is strong," she grimaces, but she's not coughing which he seriously respects. "Hm... what kind of thing do you like doing?"

Delia's cool, but so is Lydia and she would probably have an issue with him saying anything to do with extreme violence, so he doesn't say that. "I have no idea. I just piss around with whatever anyone else is doing."

"If you want, we can start trying new stuff to help you find your _thing_."

Is that cringey and pathetic? Yes. Does Beetlejuice like the idea of having a thing that's all his? Yes.

"Maybe my new thing can be smoking weed on the roof with you?" he tries, grinning at her when she smiles. And hey, she doesn't say no. 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! if there's anything you want me to write let me know and i might give it a go!


End file.
